There is this add on AOL that states you can learn a new language in just ten days. I remember my two years, I was asked not to attempt a third, of Spanish in good old WCS. The only thing I learned way back then was that a new language was always going to be foreign to me. So forget me learning a new language, I would be lucky to learn a new word in just ten days. That's what I thought, but I was so wrong. Sit back and let me tell you how this miracle, a miracle might be stretching it, happened to me.

A couple of evenings ago we experienced a warm evening and I was determined to finish repairing the netting over our blueberry patch. I say finish because Mike (Katie's husband) they haven't been married long enough for me to call him a son-in-law, helped me with a bit of this chore on the weekend. He thought we were almost finished when we broke for dinner. I let him think that in a way you would a young child helping you with a chore that you could do faster by yourself. It's all about the self-esteem issue or the lack of it. Anyway there I was reaching over my head, about a foot or foot and one/half, using one of those plastic fasteners that you insert in a slot and pull. I'm not going to complain about not having two legs but imagine trying to stand on your tiptoes and keeping your balance when you can only get pressure on one foot. I would say try it sometime but you would be better off not, trust me. Not having fingers was the problem, I do have fingers just short ones, on one hand. Picture this, I'm reaching over my head and with one hand pull the torn bird netting together and with the other short fingered hand fish the fastener up through one side of the tear in the netting and back down through the opposite side trying to guide it with a free thumb. Now without letting the netting pull apart I slide the end of the fastener strap through the slot and with sweaty fingers or short fingers pull the slippery plastic strap taunt. Mike, forget what I said about you, where are you. No, forget it, that was just a weak moment! It is now approaching dusk and I'm a long ways from being finished. I hear tiny sounding voices coming from the direction of the pond. Mind you, I'm not able to understand their language but can hear the voices as they enter my blueberry patch. With both hands up in the air, above my head, and occupied as described earlier, I feel the first bites on my shirtless belly and bare leg. "Mommy, is this the feast you promised us?" I now understand this foreign language perfectly. "Eat good kids, a meal like this only comes around once in a lifetime." I refuse to give in. It's getting darker now and the slot to thread the strap through is getting difficult to see. I figure I only have seven more to go and I'm not going to quit now. The bites have moved up my arms and a few brave ones are on my hands. Between the fastenings I swat and attempt to brush my bare skin clean but the darkening skies makes each fastening repair take even longer. This allows for the feast to continue. I listen to the smacking lips and the sounds of contentment as one full belly after another gets its fill of blood. A younger sibling then quickly takes its place. Two more to do I think. To add insult to injury I hear a voice of disdain. "It tastes just like chicken to me." Then I get it, I laugh because I know, he was feeding on my prosthesis.